On my emigration

I left Poland right after graduating from high school. I just wanted to study abroad. And here I am, half-living and half-studying in Norway. I left many friends. I left my family. I left my live there. I think I left myself there too. I miss the old me. I miss meeting my girl-friends in a cafe, sipping coffee, sharing funny gossips from my home town. I thought leaving the country would mean stepping out of the comfort zone. New challenges, new places to discover, new people, and international​ environment. It does mean it but I escaped it all. Here is my comfort zone. I’ve taken so many steps back. I haven’t had a friend since I moved in here. I don’t go out. I don’t meet people. I don’t talk. And the last one is the most painful. Being silent is dangerous. It destroys every part of my life.
I feel that I’m loosing the ability to talk. I can’t make an opinion because I lack words. I no longer know​ how to have a good conversation. I’m afraid to ask. I give up. I kinda gave up a long time ago. Now I’m just floating, waiting for the good wave to come and carry me to a better land. TBC.


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